Always Been You
by PianoHands121
Summary: Jasper and Edward have been friends forever, joined at the hip. Find one, you've found the other. That changes when Edward proposes to Bella and Jasper leaves town, upset that Edward can't see what he sees. SLASH. J/E. Drabble-ish.


**A/N: If any of yall are here from Free Love, my other fanfic, I'm uber sorry I haven't updated in like FOREVAR. But, I seem to be brain blocked. So here's a fancy little one shot I scribbled up after my Geometry Exam. Enjoy!**

"I'm asking Bella to marry me."

My heart stopped. I still don't know when and if it started up again.

"When?" I rasped.

"Tonight." Edward said proudly, digging in his jeans pocket. I cringed, knowing what he was about to show me, his best friend. He looked for my approval, and I gave it to him, even gave him a manly clap on the back.

"Congrats, man." I tried to say sincerely. I liked Bella, actually. She had been dating Edward for about 3 years now, and she was cute, I guess.

Edward smiled broadly at me, tucking the ring back in his pocket.

"I want you to be my best man."

"But, Emmett-" I scrambled helplessly. Oh, God no.

"My brother will understand." Edward interrupted and all I could do was nod. I swallowed against the lump in my throat.

"Hey, Jazz. Don't worry. Best Bros to the end!" He laughed.

I smiled weakly. "I know."

~E&J~

The wedding was today. My tux lay in its plastic laundry wrapper across the back of a chair along with my hastily written note.

How could he seriously expect me to stand beside him and watch him say his vows after...everything?

It had been New Years. Bella was in Forks with her Dad after another one of their fights, and Edward was sulking, downing scotch like a pro.

"And she just lets that _mutt_ put his hands all over her, Jazz. Bastard." He mumbled, switching the channel from the game. I slung back another beer.

"Shit, dude. That sucks." I sympathized, inwardly pleased I got him all to myself for the night.

"Hey, Jay." He said, turning away from the ball dropping ceremony on the screen.

"It's almost midnight," he slurred, inching closer. I could feel his hot breath on my chin.

"Ed-"

"I don't have anyone to kiss," He whispered. "You have to kiss someone, or it's a year's bad luck." My heart sped up and I leaned away. I knew he was just upset. I knew it meant nothing to him.

"Edward-" I tried again.

"Please, Jay."

So I kissed him. A minute too early.

Maybe that's why this years been so shitty.

~E&J~

As I walked to the entrance of the airport, bag slung over one shoulder; my mind went over the contents of my note.

_I wish you both all the happiness in the world._

_Things will be easier for both of us this way, you'll see._

_If I could stay and watch you love each other, I would._

_I have for years already. Don't make me do this._

_It'll be as if I never existed._

_Jay_

"Don't be a fuckin girl, Whitlock." I told myself, biting my lip against the tears.

I quickly took a seat and glanced at my phone.

_Five missed calls from EDWARD. One voicemail._

"Jasper? Where the hell ARE you? It's five minutes till we fucking start, you jackass! Dads gone to your apartment, you better fucking be there." Deadline.

Checking my phone I confirmed that the call was from an hour ago and my heart clenched. No turning back now.

I wondered- no.

I groaned and settled down into my seat, watching the ground disappear beneath me.

~E&J~

"Sir? Sir, we're in Houston now." A pretty little stewardess woke me up and hurried me off of the plane.

I soon got to the small house I'd rented, the fence was torn down and the shutters hung off the windows.

"What the hell?" I looked at the photo in my hand and back at the pile of shit.

Yeah, same place. Twenty years ago.

I quickly unpacked and spent the rest of the day buying home repair supplies and working my stress off on my new home.

~E&J~

The next few months continued on in the same fashion. I got a job at the local postal office as a part time manager and things had gotten exponentially better after I had met Alice and her wife, Charlotte.

After much goading I had told them of Edward and they now frequently tried to set me up with _every_ gay man they met.

I was jolted out of my musings as my phone chirped. I grinned and answered.

"What do you want?"

"I hope that's not how you greet everyone, Jasper Andrew Whitlock!" Alice growled.

I laughed, "What is it, Alice? Another blind date?"

"Not exactly..."

I frowned. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah! Super Duper!" She chirped but I detected tension in her musical voice, I let it be.

"Um, tonight? I think I have plans..." I fumbled, wincing when I heard her exasperated huff.

"Yeah, like sulking at home all by your lonesome." She snapped.

"Fine," I groaned.

"Kay! Well he's one the way! Have fun! Bye!" Beep.

"Alice!" I hissed.

That little pixie had gone too far this time.

"Shit." I mumbled into the silent phone line and slapped my cell onto the kitchen counter.

I ran around, trying to straighten up before my 'guest' would arrive. The doorbell rang and I yelled, "Gimme a second!" before stuffing a pizza box away.

I opened the door, and the heart I had been fixing these past few months broke all over again.

~E&J~

Bright green, red-rimmed eyes stared back at me. He had dark bruises beneath them and his clothes were unusually baggy.

"Edward," I closed my eyes for a second, his name slipping out so easily it hurt.

We stared at each other. I opened my mouth to say something.

"You bastard!" He screamed, rage taking over his entire face as he flew at me, socking me in the face, nails biting into my skin. We fell back in a tangled lump and the weight of him on me left me breath. He hit me several times before he stopped and broke down and collapsed on my chest. I lifted a hand to touch his hair when he pushed me violently away.

"What have you done to me?" He asked in a whisper, his entire body shaking. "Bella broke off the engagement, I can't eat, I can't sleep. You plague my mind like-" He said brokenly.

"Bella what?" I asked, shocked.

"She saw your note." He spat, his body completely turned away from mine.

His shoulders slumped forward, "I'm a horrible person." He whispered, staring down at his hands.

I pulled him roughly to me. "No, Edward. This is my fault, I'm going to fix this now." I vowed fiercely, grabbing my keys off the table and heading to the garage.

Edward yanked me back and I prepared for another onslaught but felt his lips smash to mine instead.

Instinctively, I kissed back, how could I not? But as his hands ran down my chest I shuddered, a familiar heat circling in my stomach, and pulled away.

"Edward, we can't." I sighed. "You don't really want this-"

"She was right, Jazz. Always been you, always." He mumbled against my skin and we were kissing again, hot and wet, his stubble rubbing against my face painfully perfect. I didn't break away except to pull his shirt over his head. His fair skin glowed in the dimly lit room and I quickly led him the short distance to my bed.

He pushed me down and unbuttoned my shirt, pushing it away. We looked at each other before I kissed him once on the lips.

_Elegant throat. _When we were little I used to tease him and call him Nefertiti Neck. I mouthed the white skin there and he gasped.

_Collarbone._ One lonely scar where he had broken it in fifth grade when playing football. We watched Superman all day and talked about Lane Lois. I kissed the silver blemish and he gazed down at me, eyes so adoring it made my heart clench.

_Smooth chest. _Senior year, just the two of us, down at the beach. Throwing sand, falling asleep. Edward woke up looking like a crab with his fair skin, I couldn't stop laughing the rest of the trip, but we still stayed inside and watched the dumpy hotels little T.V. I eyed a dusky nipple and lapped at it, getting a powerful response. I assumed Bella had never done that before, and filed it away for later use. I smiled. Later use, indeed.

His body was a collage of memories for us both, and I kissed every one, whispering unheard words of devotion. I ran my hands down his torso comfortingly as I unbuttoned his jeans. I looked up, questioning. Edward stared down at me with heavy lidded eyes and lifted his hips up, allowing me to remove his pants. I pulled the underwear down as well, pleased when I saw how hard Edward was.

He looked like a fallen angel come to tempt me, lying in my bed, back arched, begging me with a filthy mouth to touch him.

"Please, Jay. Oh, god-" His eyes rolled back and I kissed him, sliding my tongue into the warm cavern of his mouth as I gripped his dick.

I pushed his chest back down and he complied, settling into the pillows, propping his head up so he could watch.

I softly touched the head, earning a hiss. I was shocked that I could instill such a desire in him.

"You're so hard." I groaned, watching his cock jerk against his stomach. I stroked him slowly, listening to his moans and sighs to find out what he liked. Edward pulled me up to him and pushed me down onto the bed, straddling me. I panted, bucking my jean clad cock into his. His head lolled back and his hands gripped my bare chest. I licked and nipped at his exposed throat as he unbuttoned my pants and had them at my knees in a flash.

My cock bounced out of its confines and Edward gasped. Slowly, so fucking slowly, he touched the head of me, pulling my foreskin down.

"Fuck!" I groaned, laying fully down. I pulled a shaking Edward down with me. He felt so good against my skin, his dick accidently bumped mine and his head fell to my shoulder. I reached between us and gripped us both.

"Jasper, Jasper." My name flew from his mouth like a prayer.

"Shit, stop." He gasped, looking down at where we touched. "I'm gonna-"

"Let go, baby." He covered his hand with mine and panted harshly against my shoulder, his warm breath washing over me. I thrust quickly into both our hands, my rhythm failing as my beautiful boy fell apart in my arms. He stiffened, calling out my name.

When he came down from his high, he kissed me so sweetly tears burned at my eyes. Even if this was just for tonight, it was all I ever could want.

"Did you?" Edward asked, blushing. I throbbed but he looked exhausted.

"No, darlin. But we can fix that later, after you wake up."

He tried to protest but his eyes kept falling shut. I pulled him under the covers with me and within minutes he was gone to the world.

~E&J~

I blinked blearily, struggling to grasp my surroundings. His scent was still in my nostrils, but I was cold. Alone.

My heart fell, but I slowly got out of bed. No note. I guess this was fuckin karma.

"FUCK!" A yell came from the kitchen along with the sound of pots and pans crashing to the linoleum floor.

I ran out of my room, clad only in loose pajama pants to see the most welcoming sight of all- even though it was destroying my kitchen and trying to kill my cat.

"Back, back you feline!" He shouted, defending the batter I assume he had been mixing to Suki. She meowed as she saw me and padded toward me, rubbing against my leg, pleased with herself.

"I didn't know you had a cat." Edward grumbled.

I laughed, loud and long, my heart swelling in relief and happiness.

"You're here!" I said, kissing him deeply. His mouth tasted of chocolate and I licked my lips.

"Are you cooking chocolate pancakes?" I asked in wonder.

He rolled his eyes, "Yeah, dumb fuck." But he was smiling softly. He turned away quickly, blushing and started flipping the pancakes. He soon plopped a hot plate in front of us both and I dug in hungrily. He laughed, watching me eat. I retaliated with a thrown chocolate chip.

"So, I was thinking, after breakfast you could show me around-" I cut him off as I crashed my lips to his over the table. He moaned, curling his fingers in my hair and pushing me against the cabinet.

He licked a stray crumb off my chin and my eyes darkened. I yanked him around and shoved him against the island, kissing my way down his bare chest and tugging his sweats down.

My mouth watered at the sight of him. I licked the tip of his cock, moaning when his flavor reached me. I placed my lips around him, sucking deep. Edward thrashed, but I held his hips down. I looked up at him and he gave a weak smirk while running his hands through my curls.

"Oh, Jay. F-uck." He stroked my back, down my long spine to my ass. I moaned around him, my hips canting against his thighs for friction. I had been hard all last night, and my dick was begging for release. I lowered my hand and groaned in relief.

"Jasper, what? Oh, shit. That's hot. I'm not gonna last." He would buck and I would moan, the movement causing my dick to slip through my fist.

"Stop...Stop!" I released him and he sat up, his cock straining against his stomach painfully.

"I want to come," He breathed, stroking my chest, down to my cock. He fisted it tightly, panting against my ear. I was totally at his mercy and I loved it. "Inside you." He said huskily, kissing the corner of my mouth. I whimpered, my dick twitching against his.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

Edward tossed his head back and laughed, more carefree then I'd seen him in forever.

"Shouldn't I be asking _you_ that?" He chuckled, tucking a stray curl behind my ear.

I just nodded dumbly which made him giggle into my neck. "Where's the lube and condoms?" He whispered.

"Bed side table," I moaned. He ran us into the bedroom quickly, giving me a perfect view of his ass. We lay down on the bed, looking at one another.

"Jay," He muttered, putting them beside our heads, suddenly unsure.

"What is it, darlin?" He bit his lip and his eyes flicked around.

"I don't know what the fuck I'm doing," He said honestly, laughing nervously.

My eyes softened and I smiled. "Babe, I love how innocent you are," I told him. "C'mere." I pulled him ontop of me and lifted my legs. He stared at me, eyes never faltering, and I struggled not to blush.

"Get some lube on your fingers," I instructed quietly, watching as he did exactly as I told him. "Yeah, now just start with one, you'll know when you can add another." His eyes widened, but he nodded and pressed against me.

The lube was cold but his finger was amazingly hot beneath it and he pushed gently.

"Push harder, you're not gonna hurt me," Edward narrowed his eyes and slipped through my first ring.

"Ah," I sighed and he jumped, making me giggle. "It feels good, baby, don't worry," I rubbed a hand up and down his arm before curling my arms across his shoulders. Edward relaxed and started pumping. He wasn't very far in so I bucked my hips and smiled at him in encouragement. Edward's eyes lit up and he started curling his fingers and thrusting up into me.

"Whoa, there." I tried not to hiss uncomfortably. "Whatcha doing, darlin?"

"There's supposed to be something..." He said distractedly.

"Prostate, but not so fast, baby." I grinned at him, happy that he was trying his best to please me.

"I want to make you feel good," Edward frowned.

"What you were doing before felt good, babe." He nodded, pushing farther into me.

"You'll know it when you feel, it, E. Not many guys can find it."

Edward removed his finger and coated it with more lube before pushing back into me, the movement easier.

Before long we had started a rhythm, and my cock had sprung back to life. Edward added a second finger, making me cry out and pull him closer, rubbing myself against him. Edward seemed to stop for a moment, making me whine. Then he thrusted three fingers into me and curved them, tapping against me gently.

"Shit!" I shouted, grinding down on him. He grinned smugly and continued thrusting across the spot that made me see stars. I grabbed onto the base of my dick to stop myself from coming and pushed Edward back. He fell back in surprise and I climbed onto of him, a sweaty, shivering mess from what he'd done to me.

Edward curled his fingers in my hair for a wet, hungry kiss and I fumbled with opening the condom, my fingers shaking. Edward took it from me and prepared himself, kissing my forehead. I grabbed Edward and slowly pushed him against me. He gasped, trying desperately to keep from thrusting up into me. I lowered myself, unable to keep myself from squeezing my eyes shut and throwing my head back. Fuck, was he big.

"Thanks," Edward laughed and I blushed fiercely. Once he was all the way in I looked down and Edward had his eyes clenched shut and lips pursed. I shifted my hips but he gripped them tight.

"Fuck, don't move." He hissed. "God, Jay. You're so tight and hot." His hips bucked up without his permission and I moaned, lifting myself off him, Edward's hands still gripping me, but now helping me build a rhythm. His strokes were slow and deep; his cock was much bigger than my few previous partners and hit every spot inside me.

Before long Edward was pounding up into me, nudging his head against my holy jesus spot with every stroke. I worked my body with trying to keep up to him, but finally fell onto his chest, rubbing against his stomach.

"Fuck, I'm close." He whispered, flipping me onto my back. He grabbed my calves and put both legs on his shoulders and started fucking me into the mattress. The bed made squeaks of protest but the noise was lost against the cacophony of us. He would groan, thrusting into me slowly, making me sigh.

"I don't want it to end," I whispered, eyes stinging with tears. Edward held me close, slowing his thrusts down.

"Won't." He said through pants. Before I could question what he meant, he circled his hips and fisted my cock at the same moment. I fell apart, and he captured my loud cry with his mouth. I felt him jerk and pulse inside me and still. A few seconds later, our breathing slowed down and I felt the mattress shift as Edward got up. I grabbed his arm but he shushed me, telling me he was throwing the condom away.

He came back with a warm, wet towel and wiped us off. I held out my arms and he laughed and landed in them, shaking the bed with laughter.

He kissed me gently, which soon turned into something deeper and he was back inside me, filling me.

It lasted longer that time; he was slower and kissed me softer. It was unhurried and I didn't think either of us was going to even orgasm. But just as the sun was rising, blooming over the fields, warmth blossomed inside me and I came, the suddenness of my orgasm shaking me. I clenched around Edward and he let go, roaring as he filled me.

We talked into the next day, laughing and playing video games. We made love three more times before we both fell into bed, a hot, limbless mess.

"We smell like sex," I mumbled and he barked out a laugh.

"Dude, I don't think I'll ever be hard again." He joked, breathing heavy, his hand curled in mine.

"Oh, yeah?" I purred, launching myself at him, and we rolled around on the bed. I pinned him down and licked his chin like a feline and giggled.

"I won!" I crowed. "So what's my prize?"

"This," Edward teased, leaning up to peck me hard on the mouth. I growled and stole another while Edward wrapped me up in him.

"It's always been you, Jazz. Always."

**A/N: Yup. That's it. Please review! Hope yall enjoyed it!**


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